Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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