I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize