Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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