he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
