vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
