is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
