Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
