question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
