I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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