shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Operation Purity has been aborted
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
