you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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