just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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