so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
