I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
