You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize