Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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