My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
