I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
