I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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