I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
