I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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