Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
You don't make any sense
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