are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize