I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
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