her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
