He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
