There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize