your parents love me but you hate me
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize