I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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