My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
