I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
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