Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
