I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
