i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
