I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
