normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I would fuck him just for his dog
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
