We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
