Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
