Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
A+ Viking dick
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize