i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize