I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
my god I love twenty year old dicks
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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