I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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