What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
