why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
