You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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