i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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