So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
