Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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