I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
