the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Randomize
