operation have a gay friend backfired
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
