What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Let's paint friendship bongs
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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