he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
