I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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