there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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