I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
