NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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