and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
