I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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